02 June 2012

Hey, Beep Beep

We just heard the strangest thing. Five or six cars driving past the house, honking their horns.

This is weird on so many levels. You see, Italian drivers don’t “honk”. They tailgate. They pass on the most unlikely curves. They park all willy-nilly, pulling up behind you to block your car when there are plenty of real spots available. They sit benignly in the blocked in car, patiently awaiting the owner of the other to come out and free them so they can careen off down the street, but they do not honk.

V. ran to the front balcony to see what was happening. Maybe it was a bunch of old cars, macchine d’epoca, on the way to some auto show who sometimes honk as they pass through our town, old Fiats and Autobianchi. But, no. 

There was an RV at the front of the line of cars and it was going rather slowly. Maybe that’s what the “Beep. Beepbeepbeep. Beep. Beep” was all about. The line of cars behind it just couldn’t bear the snail’s pace and wanted to urge the driver of the RV to just speed the hell up for f@%&’s sake. Oh wait. That's what I would do on the Taconic Parkway. No. That wasn’t it. 

One of the cars had a sign and streamers hanging off the back. Maybe it was a wedding. Because Italians do not honk to let you know you’re coming perilously close to crashing horrifically into their lap because you opted to ignore the sign instructing you to “Yield”. No, they give a little friendly toot only to say, “Hey, look at me! Aren’t I fab?”  For Italians, the horn is apparently the mechanical equivalent of the glitter on their outfits.

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